As we (and anyone with baseline common sense) predicted, the San Diego City Council bowed to the all-powerful canoe lobby and killed Floatopia. 

The new ruling, of course, still allows you to crush Natty Light's in rowboats.  We'll leave it to you to decide whether that's a good thing, because -- as anybody who has watched the 1972 Burt Reynolds thriller can attest -- recreational canoeing can lead to some serious man rape.

So, what can we call this new maritime party?  Something fresh and original while still harkening back to the beloved Float...hold up...ROWTOPIA! 

From KFMB 8:

"Ultimately, after the rush to get the ordinance passed with an 'Emergency Measure' those who want to drink may just easily switch the 'Vessel' they drink on.

Instead of cup holding floaties, they could float on kayaks, rowboats or a number of other things that could be open to interpretation.

The internet began buzzing after the announcement, from Twitter to CBS8.com San Diegans began to voice their opinion.

One person said it was time for everyone to get rowboats and call it Rowtopia.  Others seemed to agree that it will turn into whatever 'Topia' is legal. "

That's right, people, the City Council has reclaimed those rowdy bay waters for nature and serious outdoorsmen.  Mark Trail wins the week!

Search for next 'Topia' begins as City deflates party

Posted: Jul 27, 2010 1:34 AM PST Updated: Jul 27, 2010 8:30 AM PST

By News 8's Craig McKee - It was a unanimous vote among San Diego City Council to deflate the Floatopia parties which began as a way for partygoers to circumvent the 'Beach Booze Ban' put in place in 2008.

Many called the floating drink fests a loophole to the ban. But now more questions are being asked as to whether or not the emergency motion Monday night to change the amendment, on where you can and can not consume alcohol, really closed the loop.  (Full Story)

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"We are here to make sure everyone is safe," said Capt. Christopher Ball, SDPD.

4,000 were expected, but the overwhelming police presence kept away all but 400.  So it looks like the event went out with a whimper -- and a bit of bay piss.

Hundreds hit the water for possible final Floatopia

Posted:Jul 17, 2010 5:47 PM PSTUpdated:Jul 17, 2010 5:48 PM PST

SAN DIEGO, Calif. (CBS 8) - Hundreds of peopleare taking advantage of what could be the final weekend for Floatopiadrinking parties.

The City Council is considering a proposal thatwould ban the consumption of alcohol on inner tubes, rafts and otherfloatation devices.  (Full Story and Video )

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So, your tax dollars were hard at work this week when The Law kicked down four residential doors in Northeast PB during a chronic bust.

"The roughly 400 living plants were sufficient in size and number to produce about $350,000 worth of street-sale marijuana three or four times a year, said Amy Roderick of the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration."

Naturally, this means that you will now have a more difficult time finding weed next time you want to toke up, right?  That is, presumably, the point in all of this, correct?

Feds raid 4 pot grow houses in PB

FOX 5 San Diego Staff

8:55 AM PDT, July 15, 2010

SAN DIEGO - Authorities raided four Pacific Beach homes allegedly being used to cultivate marijuana Wednesday, arresting four people and seizing hundreds of pot plants along with guns and cash.

Members of the multi-agency San Diego Narcotics Task Force served warrants simultaneously at three residences in the 1800 block of Law Street and one in the 2300 block of Chalcedony Street about 7 a.m., said Amy Roderick of the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration.

Each of the houses contained a "fairly sophisticated'' indoor marijuana-growing operation, according to Roderick. (Full Story and Video )

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We noted back in the spring that a San Diego National Bank  was robbed.  Now, the Bank of America just down Garnet has been jacked.

Neither hit required so much as a knife, and we know knives are a dime a dozen in PB.

At least in this case, the thief bothered to write a threatening note and pass it to the teller.  The dude who knocked over San Diego National Bank just sort of walked up and asked for some dough and got it.

Both guys are still on the loose.   C'mon PB bank security, we can do better than this!

Robber hits bank in Pacific Beach

By Kristina Davis, UNION-TRIBUNE STAFF WRITER

Monday, July 12, 2010 at 3:54 p.m.

SAN DIEGO — A middle-aged man used a demand note to rob a Bank of America in Pacific Beach Monday afternoon, San Diego police said.

The robber gave the note to a teller at the bank on Garnet Avenue near Bayard Street shortly before 3 p.m. and left with cash, police said. (Full Story)

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“My kids were treated to nudity, profanity and people smoking marijuana,” (Mother Kelly) Johnston said. “There was one girl so drunk she was walking around with no pants on.”

Hey, the woman's not a liar.

Bit of party hangover in Kate Sessions park

By Janet Lavelle, UNION-TRIBUNE STAFF WRITER

Sunday, July 11, 2010 at 8:43 p.m.

Debate over whether to ban alcohol at Kate O. Sessions Memorial Park in Pacific Beach has gathered momentum since several thousand people spent the Fourth of July there, many celebrating with beer and drinking games.

By late afternoon the crowd, mostly young adults, had swelled to what police estimated at 4,500, and an officer told a reporter, “I’m surrounded by drunks.” (Full Story )

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PacificBeacher was on the scene at Kate Sessions Park this 4th of July weekend.

Among the highlights?

-The fire department giving jello wrestlers a hand by using their hose to spray some H20 into the ring.
-One of the female wrestlers stumbling out of the ring and openly pulling jello from her bikini bottom, saying, "It's everywhere!"
-Public pissing.  LOT'S OF IT.

Let's face it, if England still ran things, King George would have taxed the hell out of this outdoor drunk fest.

God Bless America.

Thousands Turn Kate Sessions Park into Party Central

Last Update: 7/04 11:34 pm

PACIFIC BEACH - The 4th of July at Kate Sessions park has never looked the way it did today.  Some 5-thousand "friends" got together to share some good times and plenty of alcohol.
 
Tonight local residents say this is precisely why alcohol needs to be banned a the park.
 
From the body painting, "hey how's it going."

To the revelers "we're supposed to be in our bikinis. We've been spooning in snuggies all morning long." (Full Story and Video )

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...But that didn't stop this sauced MV resident from from celebrating America's birthday by disrobing and crashing at some stranger's PB pad. 

He thought he had made it home.

John Adams would be proud.

Posted: 6:03 AM
Last Updated: 6 hours and 32 minutes ago

• By: The Associated Press

SAN DIEGO (AP) - A San Diego resident awoke to a shocking discovery: a naked stranger passed out on his downstairs sofa.

San Diego police Lt. Jim Filley says the Pacific Beach homeowner called police after wandering downstairs Sunday morning and finding the snoring man.

Filley says the naked man was drunk and thought he was in his own home in Mission Valley, some 20 miles away. (Full Story )

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In a couple weeks, Floatopia will be banned.  The fix is in.  It is fait accompli.  Although we do respect the efforts of the event organizers to delay the inevitable through their Facebook page:



PacificBeacher would like to highlight one local elected official, however, who seems to at least have a pragmatic view of the matter while the other councilmembers can't be bothered to fight off their collective urge to legislate, legislate, legislate!

"Councilman Tony Young, who didn’t support the original alcohol ban (on the beach), said he suspected that people would eventually find a way to skirt the (new Floatopia) law. He said he was supporting the new rules because he didn’t want to see anyone drown because the city didn’t act.

"'In some ways, we’re responsible for this because we have created a situation where individuals felt that they had to do this,' Young said at a council public safety committee hearing. 'I’ll support the motion, but I’m not very happy that we have come to this point in our society where we’re trying to regulate every action that we don’t particularly agree with.'"

Have a Buddy Light on us this 4th of July Weekend, Councilman Young.  Then grab a noodle and walk into the bay and chug it one last time, just to piss off your colleagues.

That's what we'll be doing.   I mean, how else do you expect us to celebrate our nation's independence?

Proposed Floatopia ban before City Council

By Craig Gustafson, UNION-TRIBUNE STAFF WRITER

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 at 8:51 p.m.

Floatopia is about to be deflated.

The offshore drinking parties that sprang up in response to an alcohol ban on San Diego beaches could be nixed this month under a proposal headed to the City Council.

A council committee voted unanimously Wednesday to forward a plan to extend the alcohol ban to bathers — practically anyone in the water who isn’t in a boat or kayak — so law enforcement officials can put a stop to the floating parties, primarily on Mission Bay. (Full Story )

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NPR is all class all the time.  It is therefore mildly surprising that local affiliate KPBS would even waste its time on us Pacific Beach rabble-rousers.

And yet here we are:

Alcohol & Crime In Pacific Beach

Some Pacific Beach residents believe the number of bars and restaurants that serve alcohol in their community is excessive and such concentration leads to a high-level of alcohol-related crimes (19X the city-wide rate) in the business area. (Full Transcript and Audio )

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After instigating fights up and down the San Diego coastline, the man they call War Machine is headed to jail for a year.  But is the pokey the best place for him?

Let's think outside of the box for a moment.

In an effort to harness WM's exceptional ass-kicking abilities for the public good, perhaps the SDPD (with help from the local CIA field office) sits the lad down for a brainwashing crash course on crime fighting.  They give it however long it takes until he breaks. 

Once he's been deemed an upstanding citizen who can channel his rage towards the pursuit of civic justice, he's deputized and let loose on the streets of Pacific Beach to tackle its serious shiving epidemic .

If the 5-0 stays out of his way, WM slices the stabbings in half within three months, tops.  He can be PB's first official superhero.  He'd obviously keep the spitbag on his melon for costume purposes.

Fair?  FAIR.  Jerry Sanders and Kevin Faulconer can thank us later.

War Machine headed for stand down in jail

By Dana Littlefield, UNION-TRIBUNE STAFF WRITER

Thursday, July 1, 2010 at 4:33 p.m.

SAN DIEGO COURTS — A former Ultimate Fighting Championship fighteraccused of getting into altercations at two San Diego bars earlier thisyear pleaded guilty Thursday to two felonies and admitted he violatedprobation on a previous case.

Jon Paul Koppenhaver, 28, who legally changed his name to WarMachine, was ordered to serve a year in jail because of the probationviolation. He pleaded guilty to two felony counts of assault with forcelikely to cause great bodily injury, stemming from incidents at a PointLoma bar in February and a Pacific Beach bar in March. (Full Story )

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